On being difficult...

Confused+Emotional.

I think it important that the reader gets a fairly accurate handle on what they're dealing with here - it's only fair.

Maybe it was something to do with the configuration of planets at my hour of birth, or the misuse of forceps at that time, but it seems to be my role in life to buck trends and struggle to be different. What do I mean? Well, my obsession with gadgets is a perfect example...

Back when I had to book my school's sole computer in 15 minute blocks to perfect my Commodore Basic programming (it could say 'hello' on the screen and everything!), the techies here in the UK were playing with the BBC Micro; everyone else was busy swapping applications for their Sinclair Spectrums. So the decision was pretty easy really... I found myself with a Commodore Vic-20! Oh how my friends looked on jealously, when they weren't swapping the latest and greatest games with everyone else. Never mind that the Spectrum owners didn't have a need, I smugly spent £75 on a 16Kb (yes, Kb!) memory expansion pack for the Vic. I was flying! I could get a computer to say 'Hello' at home now.

To a fault, I'm diametrically opposed to all things Bill Gates and Windoze (SIC). I'm a huge, unashamed fan of Steve Jobs, Jonathon Ives and everything Apple. Yes, I also own a laptop running XP, but I do so despite everything I've ever believed in. I resent it; Windoze is something to scowl at from the other side of the room. I spend my time in Gatesville wishing I was on the Mac. With a creative music background, I was brought up on a diet of Apple, so I have an excuse. But come on, have you ever used a Macintosh? Why would you use anything else?! Well, to cooperate with the rest of the world, to enjoy the same experience as friends, family and loved ones, of course. Which is what I mean. I sit smugly knowing that I use the best Operating System, but watching jealously as everyone else enjoys their Windoze-only experience.

As an avid photographer, following the crowd by going Canon or Nikon was never going to do for me, oh no. I was seduced by the use of little expansion cards for the range of Minolta SLRs (nevermind that these expensive little cards added functionality to my camera already built in to the other manufacturers' offerings, these were 'gadgets'!). So Minolta have gone to the wall, leaving me with expensive and obsolete equipment, while the competition have gone from strength to strength. Are you getting the picture yet?

Then there's the mobile phone nightmare. I thought I knew better than to carry around an industry standard mobile phone AND a PDA, so I went and combined the two. Rather than choose the industry standard Palm PDA, I chose a compatible device from a company called Handspring. Why? Erm, well... errr... Gadgets! See, the Handspring had a special socket connector called Springboard, enabling the owner to attach additional hardware... or gadgets, if you like. Having expanded the painfully poor built-in memory, I spent the best part of a year coveting a 'Visorphone', yes, a plug-in GSM phone module for my Visor. Eventually, I got one for 50% of the RRP at £100. Yes I know other mobile phones were free, this was a true gadget! Of course, it was 50% of the RRP because it was being obsoleted and, to be honest, didn't really work, but nevermind, this was a gadget! If you stood on one foot with your body at 45 degrees to the vertical, most likely hanging out of a window and uttering some strange incantation, it might hold a call for as long as, ooh, let's see, 30 seconds? Nobody learned to be so concise when making calls, and no matter, this was a gadget!

The next step was to watch Handspring be absorbed by Palm, and see the obsolescence of my beloved Springboard modules. I bought a Treo 600. It was really good - it held calls for at least twice as long as the Visorphone - a 100% improvement! Okay, whoever I was talking to had to contend to listening to me mixed in with the residual sound of the big bang - this was a new gadget! Within days its headphone output failed. Without Bluetooth, I decided a convoluted system of dongle plugged into the phone (yes, via the failed headphone socket) and a pathetic earpiece would do. Okay, it never did 'do', but it was a gadget. How good a system was it? Well, recently in a generous act, I tried to gift the earpiece to her in doors. Demonstrating the simple process of charging, the charger blew up on me! As the smoke billowed, would it have made a difference if I reminded everyone that this was a gadget?

Now, I have my beloved Treo 650. It actually works. It's probably cost me about £800 to get a Palm smartphone that actually works. No matter, think of all the lovely gadgets I've enjoyed. Having invested extensively in 3rd party applications, I'm very tied to the Palm platform - it's what I've known for almost the last 8 years. I'm jealously watching the emergence of the iPhone, but I know it won't do what I have come to expect of my pocket-pal. I'm not sure if the Palm does what I need it to do to make my life easier, or if my life has changed to do what the Palm finds easy, but no matter, we're a team now. Of course, Palm the company continues to demonstrate all the business sense of a dying company, and the signs are clear that I've backed the wrong horse in the Palm OS, as the company gets all cosy in Gatesville with the pocket PC Windoze Mobile OS. Bugger!

At least I've done well with my GPS choice. Here in the UK, TomTom rules (or 'Doris' as clan Confused+Emotional have dubbed 'her'). OK, what really rule are the dedicated TomTom PND hardware devices. I, being an individual, decided to integrate TomTom within my Palm Treo 650 - can you imagine what a gadget that baby has become? Okay, so I don't own TomTom hardware, which puts me in relation to the user experience just outside the room with my nose pressed against the window, looking in. No matter, TomTom supports PDAs. But wait, 98% of TomTom PDA users are based upon the dreaded Gatesville Pocket PC platform. So ok, my nose is no longer against the window looking in on the community; I'm on Venus. No matter, I have GADGETS!

There's more to share, but I'm now feeling a little embarrassed. But I just thought I should share with you where I'm coming from, just so you might understand a little better why I might sometimes sound a little hurt, a little offended, a little bitter, a little angry at the world. And of course, you might now understand why you're reading 'Confused+Emotional'.

That said, I do have some great gadgets!!